I do not want to assume every woman struggles with the same thing, but after listening to countless women, I hear a familiar feeling. Days filled with exciting accomplishments and yet that lingering sense of what many call ‘mom guilt’ as we conclude our day. I spend many nights on the road and wonder why I feel this when I am confident in what I am doing and the direction my family is going. My kids are involved in my work and daily decisions. As I think about this, my conclusion is two-fold. One, it is not me who has an issue with being a working mom. It’s often those around me who struggle with it. Most don’t understand the communication with my children, and the situation to be the provider for my family are the ones who make digs and assumptions.
A lesson learned is is its not up to me to determine what is right for another woman. If it is right for her to work or stay home or travel, but I do know it is up to me to encourage and uplift and be an example. We can work and be a great mom and care and not be selfish and honestly be very successful in everything we do.
Please stop being so hard on yourself and others. Stop and ask questions and listen for the goal to cheer for each other. I am not only a working mom; I am a working single mom who owns a company and traveling the nation for the majority of my role. I also have multiple other streams of income which take effort and lots of early mornings and late nights to keep everything running smoothly.
Many only see when I am gone, but they do not understand when I am home. Some say I am selfish and am more worried about money and things over my kids. However, I believe I am working hard, yes, for myself, but also my kids. They are why I do what I do. They are why I work hard at scheduling as much as I can around their lives, and if I were selfish, I would work less, travel for fun, and not care about their future and their goals and dreams. Every new thing I start or do, I first and foremost think about how it will positively or negatively affect them, well before how it will affect me.
Two, I do not believe what I feel after a long day is mom guilt. Guilt is an emotion when you know you are doing something wrong; I think it is an emotion from missing my babies the same as one might miss their partner. They are a massive part of my life, my support system, my friends. They make me laugh and know me better than anyone. I know we are doing everything to make this reality and run smoothly. So If I feel guilty, it is not coming from my kids; it is because I am allowing others to affect how I feel, and I am giving others the freedom to speak into how our family should live. I wish I did not provide a second hesitation to others’ thoughts of my life as a mom. However, things people say do cause me to pause and think, and therefore I will be sharing these stories as they may encourage you on the way of your journey. My goal is through being open; there will be a take away for everyone reading these blogs with this call to action in mind. Moms… working not working, single or married. Listen! Care! Encourage! Help! Uplift! Empower!